الغندور سعيد
10-04-2009, 23:31
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
> CIGARETTE:
> A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
> with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
>
>
>
> MARRIAGE:
> It's an agreement
> whereby a man loses his bachelor degree
> and a woman gains her master
>
> DIVORCE:
> Future Tense of Marriage
>
> LECTURE:
> An art of transmitting information
> from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
> without passing through the minds of either
>
> CONFERENCE:
> The confusion of one man
> multiplied by the number present
>
> COMPROMISE:
> The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
> everybody believes he got the biggest piece
>
> TEARS:
> The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is
> defeated by feminine water-power!
>
> DICTIONARY:
> A place where divorce comes
> before marriage
>
> CONFERENCE ROOM:
> A place where everybody talks,
> nobody listens
> and everybody disagrees later on
>
> ECSTASY:
> A feeling when you feel
> you are going to feel
> a feeling
> you have never felt before
>
> CLASSIC:
> A book
> which people praise,
> but never read
>
> SMILE:
> A curve
> that can set
> a lot of things straight!
>
> OFFICE:
> A place
> where you can relax
> after your strenuous
> home life
>
> YAWN:
> The only time
> when some married men
> ever get to open
> their mouth
>
> Etc.:
> A sign
> to make others believe
> that you know
> more than
> you actually do
>
> COMMITTEE:
> Individuals
> who can do
> nothing individually
> and sit to decide
> that nothing can be done
> together
>
> EXPERIENCE:
> The name
> men give
> to their
> Mistakes
>
> ATOM BOMB:
> An invention
> to bring an end
> to all
> inventions
>
> PHILOSOPHER:
> A fool
> who torments himself
> during life,
> to be spoken of
> when dead
>
> DIPLOMAT:
> A personwho tells you
> to go to hellin such a way
> that you actually look forward
> to the trip
>
> OPPORTUNISTS:
> Persons who start taking a bath
> if they accidentally fall into a river
>
> OPTIMIST:
> A person who while falling
> from a TOWER says midway
> "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
>
> PESSIMIST:
> A person who says that "O" is the last letter
> in zerO, instead of it being the first letter
> in Opportunity
>
> MISER:
> A person who lives poor
> so that he can die RICH!
>
> FATHER:
> A banker provided by nature
>
> CRIMINAL:
> A guy
> no different
> from the other,
> unless he gets caught
>
> BOSS:
> Someone who is early
> when you are late and late
> when you are early
>
> POLITICIAN:
> One who shakes your hand
> before elections and your confidence after
>
> DOCTOR:
> A person who kills your ills by pills,
> and kills you with a bill.
منقول من
> Christopher McMaster
> 48 Erthig Road
> Belmont
> Port of Spain
> Trinidad
> West Indies
> Home, 868-624-5451
> Cell, 868-682-0678
> e-mail: [email protected]
> e-mail: [email protected]
> Alternate: [email protected]
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
> CIGARETTE:
> A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
> with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
>
>
>
> MARRIAGE:
> It's an agreement
> whereby a man loses his bachelor degree
> and a woman gains her master
>
> DIVORCE:
> Future Tense of Marriage
>
> LECTURE:
> An art of transmitting information
> from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
> without passing through the minds of either
>
> CONFERENCE:
> The confusion of one man
> multiplied by the number present
>
> COMPROMISE:
> The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
> everybody believes he got the biggest piece
>
> TEARS:
> The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is
> defeated by feminine water-power!
>
> DICTIONARY:
> A place where divorce comes
> before marriage
>
> CONFERENCE ROOM:
> A place where everybody talks,
> nobody listens
> and everybody disagrees later on
>
> ECSTASY:
> A feeling when you feel
> you are going to feel
> a feeling
> you have never felt before
>
> CLASSIC:
> A book
> which people praise,
> but never read
>
> SMILE:
> A curve
> that can set
> a lot of things straight!
>
> OFFICE:
> A place
> where you can relax
> after your strenuous
> home life
>
> YAWN:
> The only time
> when some married men
> ever get to open
> their mouth
>
> Etc.:
> A sign
> to make others believe
> that you know
> more than
> you actually do
>
> COMMITTEE:
> Individuals
> who can do
> nothing individually
> and sit to decide
> that nothing can be done
> together
>
> EXPERIENCE:
> The name
> men give
> to their
> Mistakes
>
> ATOM BOMB:
> An invention
> to bring an end
> to all
> inventions
>
> PHILOSOPHER:
> A fool
> who torments himself
> during life,
> to be spoken of
> when dead
>
> DIPLOMAT:
> A personwho tells you
> to go to hellin such a way
> that you actually look forward
> to the trip
>
> OPPORTUNISTS:
> Persons who start taking a bath
> if they accidentally fall into a river
>
> OPTIMIST:
> A person who while falling
> from a TOWER says midway
> "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
>
> PESSIMIST:
> A person who says that "O" is the last letter
> in zerO, instead of it being the first letter
> in Opportunity
>
> MISER:
> A person who lives poor
> so that he can die RICH!
>
> FATHER:
> A banker provided by nature
>
> CRIMINAL:
> A guy
> no different
> from the other,
> unless he gets caught
>
> BOSS:
> Someone who is early
> when you are late and late
> when you are early
>
> POLITICIAN:
> One who shakes your hand
> before elections and your confidence after
>
> DOCTOR:
> A person who kills your ills by pills,
> and kills you with a bill.
منقول من
> Christopher McMaster
> 48 Erthig Road
> Belmont
> Port of Spain
> Trinidad
> West Indies
> Home, 868-624-5451
> Cell, 868-682-0678
> e-mail: [email protected]
> e-mail: [email protected]
> Alternate: [email protected]