:ggg:How to Change Your Life
If you want to change your life, change your thinking--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

by Marta Kagan
"If you believe that you can do a thing, or if you believe you cannot, in either case, you are right." – Henry Ford

Your life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Everything you are or ever will be, is the direct result of the way you think.

It is true that genetics play a role in who we are. It is also true that we are shaped by our experiences; by the influences of our parents, our peers, and our environment. However, it is the way in which we react to these experiences; the beliefs that we hold onto; the self-concept that we create over time that ultimately determines who we are and what we do with our lives.

This may sound a little radical. But it's simple really.

If you want to change your life, change your thinking.

Humans are highly thought-oriented creatures. Every second of every day is more or less filled with thought. Even as you read the words on your screen right now, you are processing thoughts – reacting to what I've written; accepting or rejecting these ideas; etc. Even when you are asleep, you are processing thoughts in the form of dreams.

Our thoughts trigger our emotions. Have you ever sat in a room, all by yourself, and actively thought about how someone wronged you? Within seconds, you find yourself absolutely livid – as intensely charged with anger as if the incident had just taken place right in front of you.

Your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings, in turn, cause behavior. It can be argued that all human behavior stems from either desire or fear – you either want something (and therefore behave in a way to attract that something to yourself) or you fear it (and therefore do your very best to avoid whatever it is). I realize that human behavior – your OWN behavior – often seems much more complicated than that, but it's really not. If you think angry thoughts, you will feel angry, and you will behave in a way that expresses this anger. If you think loving thoughts, you will feel love, and you will behave in a loving way.

It really is as simple as that.
If you want to change your life, change your thinking.

Your life is nothing more than the sum total of your actions; your behaviors. Your behaviors are produced in response to your feelings. Your feelings are triggered by your thoughts. If you change your thoughts, you will – you MUST – change your life.

In his famous book, Pygmalion in the Classroom, Dr. Robert Rosenthal of Harvard University illustrates with great poignancy how a single change in a person's thinking can have tremendous influence on their success in life. In 1968, Dr. Rosenthal theorized that teacher's expectations strongly influence the academic performance of their students. To prove this theory, he conducted an experiment in which intelligence tests were given to all of the students at an elementary school at the beginning of the school year. Twenty percent of the students were then selected at random - without any regard to their intelligence test results - and assigned to a randomly selected group of teachers who were told (in confidence) that these students were "gifted" and could be expected to "bloom" or "spurt" in their academics that year. At the end of the year, Rosenthal came back and re-tested all the students. He found that the "gifted" students improved their academic performance by 20 to 30% from the previous year. They demonstrated significant increases in their IQ test scores from the previous year. They scored higher on their standardized tests than any other class in the school; in fact, they scored higher than any other students in the school district! Simply because their teachers believed they were gifted students.

If you want to change your life, change your thinking.

Successful people develop their ability to monitor and control their own thoughts. They are skilled at noticing their own negative self-talk and systematically replacing it with positive affirmation; with a vision of their success. They refuse to accept limits on their potential. They expect the best – from the world and from others. They take full responsibility for the choices they make and the thoughts they think.

If you want to change your life, change your thinking.

We very naturally assume that our insecurities, our flaws and our failures are either the result of someone else's doing or our immutable personality. They are not. Babies are not born with insecurities. Insecurities are learned responses – to rejection, to fear. And the only person responsible for them, ultimately, is you. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
If you want great things for yourself; if you want a better life, more freedom, greater fulfillment, deeper peace of mind, do something about it. Do not accept limitations imposed upon you by other people. Do not impose self-limiting thoughts upon yourself. You are unlikely to exceed your own expectations. You set the limit on your own level of success by what you believe – with conviction – is true. You create your reality. You create your life.

Your thoughts are, in reality, the only thing that you have complete control over. Begin the process of positive change today. Grab some paper and write down one self-limiting thought that you've had in the last 24 hours – "I am lazy", "I am insecure", "I lack confidence", "I am not good with numbers [or technology or people]" – whatever statement comes to mind first.

Now take a minute to dissect this thought. Is it a statement a FACT? Is there any possibility that it is not 100% verifiably true?

Assume for a moment that it is NOT. Assume that it is completely false information – that in fact the exact opposite has been proven true. Picture yourself for a moment in that alternate reality. Create a vivid image of what life would be like if the opposite of your belief were true. How would you feel? How would your life change?

Your thinking creates your feelings. Your feelings create your behaviors. Your behaviors create your life. Your thoughts are the only thing in life that you have complete control over.

If you want to change your life, change your thinking