The Newest Jokes

[الفوقى]

The First 3 Years of Marriage

• In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens
• In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens
• In the third year, they both speak and the si27neighbors listen

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

sami: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
sami: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."

A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!

Little sami: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom
Teacher: Little sami MAY I go to the bathroom
Little sami: But I asked first

Son: Dad, what is an idiot
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me
Son: No.

Teacher: Why are you late
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it
Student: No. I was standing on it.

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ...

When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

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