The Newest Jokes

[الفوقى]

The First 3 Years of Marriage

• In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens
• In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens
• In the third year, they both speak and the si27neighbors listen

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

sami: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
sami: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."

A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!

Little sami: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom
Teacher: Little sami MAY I go to the bathroom
Little sami: But I asked first


Son: Dad, what is an idiot
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me
Son: No.


Teacher: Why are you late
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it
Student: No. I was standing on it.


The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ...


A person who speaks two ********s is bilingual...A person who speaks three ********s is trilingual...A person who speaks four or more ********s is multilingual.
What is a person who speaks one ********?
An American.


When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

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[rasheed]

Thank you so much!! I Didn't laugh that much in a long time, here are some jokes I found

Why did the boy bury his flashlight? Because the batteries were dead

A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said:
"Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"
"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."

If a man was born in Italy, went to America and died in San Francisco
what would he be? answer: Dead

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no-body to go with

How do you count a herd of cattle? A: With a cowculator

Why do cows have bells? A: Because their horns don't work
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

[الفوقى]

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